Far From Perfect
I’ve been banned from visiting my mom this week. Not that I wanted to go up and visit her, but she literally told me I couldn’t come. My biological sister is in town and to put it mildly, she hates me. Mom wants to see her grandkids, so I told her I’d stay away, even though I want her to hem this dress that I want to wear for Easter. I was okay with the ban until I talked to my biological brother last night. Seems mom told him he can’t even mention my name or else my sister will never let mom see her grandkids again. WOW, that hurts.
I am still not clear after almost 14 years what I did to make my sister hate me. I know hate is a strong word, but she hates me. I did tell her that it would be good for her to support her mom and come to her wedding when she got remarried. But is that worthy of such deep hate? I dropped in on her once when she lived in Laramie, unannounced, because I wanted to visit her and see my baby nephew. Does that warrant such deep hate? There was a time when I played her game and would apologize for whatever nonsense she made up that I had done. But then I got tired of apologizing for things that were untrue. So I stopped.
Here are some of the reasons I think she hates me:
1) I lived in and traveled Europe. Hmm, would give all the traveling up to have Jon back,
2) I went to college right after high school she joined the Navy. A simple choice I made.
3) I told her to let our dead father rest in peace and not to say anymore bad stuff about him. Fine if she didn’t like him, he’s dead, stop badmouthing him.
4) I told her that even if she didn’t like the man mom was going to marry she should still support her mother and come to her wedding. Turns out she was wrong about Jack, he is an awesome man and my mom and him have been married for 12 years now. Plus this week she is staying at his house.
5) Not sure I can come up with any more reasons.
My sister does think that I have a holier than thou attitude. If you really know me, you know I am passionate about my relationship with Christ, but do I have a holier than thou attitude?
Maybe she thinks I think I’m perfect. Let me start with, I didn’t have a 4.0 GPA in high school or college, so academically, not perfect. I’ve had some zits, more in my 30’s than my teen years, but not perfect. My marriage got stronger through the years, but there were many times I wanted to give up, it was far from perfect. My relationship with God is far from perfect, I don’t deserve His love and sometimes wonder if He knows I exist.
When I came home for my sister’s wedding this summer, she told someone she was upset because she felt like I was implying she was getting married. Well, I did come home for my sister’s wedding, my adopted sister. There is a family in my home town that adopted me and they are my family. They all love me, Big Pa, Becky, Kim and Cody, unconditionally.
As my biological brother said, someday she will want her family in her life. He said he’d be there for her, I said I don’t know if I can be after all that she’s put me through. I am so far from perfect.
I am still not clear after almost 14 years what I did to make my sister hate me. I know hate is a strong word, but she hates me. I did tell her that it would be good for her to support her mom and come to her wedding when she got remarried. But is that worthy of such deep hate? I dropped in on her once when she lived in Laramie, unannounced, because I wanted to visit her and see my baby nephew. Does that warrant such deep hate? There was a time when I played her game and would apologize for whatever nonsense she made up that I had done. But then I got tired of apologizing for things that were untrue. So I stopped.
Here are some of the reasons I think she hates me:
1) I lived in and traveled Europe. Hmm, would give all the traveling up to have Jon back,
2) I went to college right after high school she joined the Navy. A simple choice I made.
3) I told her to let our dead father rest in peace and not to say anymore bad stuff about him. Fine if she didn’t like him, he’s dead, stop badmouthing him.
4) I told her that even if she didn’t like the man mom was going to marry she should still support her mother and come to her wedding. Turns out she was wrong about Jack, he is an awesome man and my mom and him have been married for 12 years now. Plus this week she is staying at his house.
5) Not sure I can come up with any more reasons.
My sister does think that I have a holier than thou attitude. If you really know me, you know I am passionate about my relationship with Christ, but do I have a holier than thou attitude?
Maybe she thinks I think I’m perfect. Let me start with, I didn’t have a 4.0 GPA in high school or college, so academically, not perfect. I’ve had some zits, more in my 30’s than my teen years, but not perfect. My marriage got stronger through the years, but there were many times I wanted to give up, it was far from perfect. My relationship with God is far from perfect, I don’t deserve His love and sometimes wonder if He knows I exist.
When I came home for my sister’s wedding this summer, she told someone she was upset because she felt like I was implying she was getting married. Well, I did come home for my sister’s wedding, my adopted sister. There is a family in my home town that adopted me and they are my family. They all love me, Big Pa, Becky, Kim and Cody, unconditionally.
As my biological brother said, someday she will want her family in her life. He said he’d be there for her, I said I don’t know if I can be after all that she’s put me through. I am so far from perfect.
posted by Els Adventures at
10:18 PM
